You see, my ex husband is no longer on this earth. His life ended in November 2007. It was cancer that killed him and cancer that also gave him life. It is for this very reason that I am sharing his story, along with his identity. There are so many details that I could intertwine in this story and it is difficult for me to write and not feel as if I am leaving a billion things out. Bare with me in that, I may very well fill in the gaps later. How our connection rekindled many years later is an amazing story in itself. It was not by luck or by coincidence as many may think but rather it was by Divine intervention. Again, so many details.
At the end of the day, my ex husband has a story to tell, a story worth hearing. Was he a man of many sins? Yes. Was he a man once filled with rage and violence? Yes. Is that where his story ends? No. His story doesn't end in a grave. His story also lives on in a beautiful daughter, he once gave up. His legacy, as seedy and horrid as it once was has been changed. Redemption has been found! I will let his story speak for itself.
Below please find posted the articles of my ex husbands journey. Gaps will be there but I pray the main points will be found. Please also stay with me below for more reading.
http://www.sptimes.com/2007/webspecials07/audio_slideshows/throat-cancer/
http://www.tboblogs.com/index.php/newswire/story/cab-drivers-throat-cut-2-arrested/
http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=888&dat=20071013&id=dCUxAAAAIBAJ&sjid=rnQDAAAAIBAJ&pg=5874,1797576
http://www.sptimes.com/2007/11/19/Southpinellas/Cancer_claims_hardy_c.shtml
As our paths crossed one final time I was requested to be the one to speak at his funeral. Seems odd I know, but even more odd, it was one of the greatest privileges I ever received. To provide love and forgiveness for a man who deserved none of it. As a follower of Christ there is no higher honor.
His Eulogy
Some of you may know me but many of you may not. I am Dwayne’s ex wife and probably the last one any of you would expect to be speaking tonight. But if there’s one person, aside from Kristina, who saw and knew the worst and best of Dwayne, it was me. And tonight, I want to share with you the best and I also want to share Dwayne’s heart with you.
We’ve all read the newspaper and we are aware of Dwayne’s
past, much by his own admission. We’ve also all made mistakes in our lives but
I think if Dwayne were here he’d say he had most of us beat.
The years I spent with Dwayne were obviously not very good
ones. He always had a problem with anger, drinking and drugs,
but beyond all of that, I believe his biggest challenge in life was
himself. You see, every time Dwayne
messed up in his life is all I ever saw in him was pain and
disappointment. He hated who he was
sometimes, sometimes so much so that he would just choose to run away from
everything. I also watched him fight
like crazy to change and for years I also watched him fail. His problem was, he was always fighting in
his own strength.
Like I said before, everyone knew the old Dwayne. The Dwayne
that always looked out for himself alone, but tonight, I want to make sure you
all know and remember the real Dwayne.
The self-less man who died fighting for his wife and daughter. The
compassionate man who loved his family endlessly. And the fear less man who
looked cancer in the face and boldly fought on.
You see, one of the first conversations I had with Dwayne
once we re-connected he shared with me his story. He was trying so hard to get his life in
order and to begin living right since his diagnosis. He shared that the first step he took was to
attend church. He then went on to tell
me about one particular Sunday. On this
day he said he sat in church and it was as if no one else was around him. It
seemed as if the pastor was speaking just to him. He said in that moment he knew he needed to
surrender his life to Christ. He was done fighting in his own strength and he
knew he needed the Lords. In that moment
of surrender his life changed forever. His cancer was no longer terminal for
his life would then become eternal.
From then on every conversation we had was about God. His words astounded me, so much so that I
even wrote many of them down. To hear
the man who battled such anger for so long say “ For the first time in my life
I can lay my head on my pillow at night and rest because I know I’m forgiven.” That just amazed me, but what’s even more amazing
is that I understood exactly what he meant.
My life was never much better than his, but 7 years ago when I
surrendered my own life to Christ I too understood what it was like to finally
rest.
He also said “ For the first time in my life I want to get
up in the morning.” Now remember, this
is coming from a man with cancer, a painful cancer at that. That kind of sustaining and joy can only come
from the Lord. Is all Dwayne wanted was,
in his own words, “to tell his story to
everyone he came into contact with.” He
truly wanted the world to know all that God had done in his life.
I realize many of you many not have gotten to see this
transformation in Dwayne and I also know many of you may be a bit skeptical,
but let me stand before you as a woman who knew his worst side and tell you,
I’ve seen it and I believe it. God has
transformed my own life as well and I will never underestimate His power.
I also know many of you are questioning God right now and
wondering why this happened. Let me
offer you this…God will allow what He hates to accomplish what He loves. Yes, God hates cancer and suffering but He
loves salvation and changed lives.
Cancer, as nasty as it is, is the very thing that saved Dwayne’s life
and I know he was grateful for it.
I know Dwayne did not die a perfect man but I also know he
did die a forgiven one. I also know how
many regrets he had but in speaking with him, his biggest regret by far was not
coming to know the Lord 20 years ago. It
then became his burden to go forward and share the unconditional love of God
that he found with everyone whom he knew.
Sadly, his time was cut short..so please, allow me to stand in the gap
and tell all of you whom he knew and dearly loved. Don’t wait like he did. Give
your life over to the very One who created you.
Dwayne would tell you, it’s the best decision you’ll ever make.
In closing, I will share with you what Dwayne said “ If I
die today I am so grateful to have been able to live for even this short amount
of time knowing the Lord. I want to share Him for the rest of my life.”
And today, I believe he did just that.
Dwayne, you will always live on in our hearts and be
remembered as a strong man who fought for his wife and daughter, as a
compassionate , self-less man who set his own needs aside and as an example of
what it means to truly live. This world will miss you greatly.
