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So, where was I? Rewind... I had just met this adorable guy and completely blew it by telling him my life story. Honestly, I wasn't even sure what I wanted more,for it to work out or for it to end. I was caught in a battle between what I longed for and what I felt I deserved. I guess it didn't really matter anyway because I knew the damage had already been done. That man with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen went home and I wasn't sure if I would ever see him again.
Fast forward...20 years later I was sitting on the edge of my bed and when I looked up I was looking into those same beautiful eyes. They still drew me in. In fact they draw me in today as much as they ever did, if not more. My dear friends, he stayed! He actually stayed! I realize there's obviously a BIG gap in between, which I will indeed fill in, but from now on the man I speak of you will all know as my husband Chris (Christopher to me) and you will soon learn why I am always posting on FB about his amazingness and how grateful I am for him and who he is. Alicia was my reason and he was soon to become my hope.
Going back those 20 years I could not have been more excited when my phone rang the next morning and I was being asked to go out for lunch. I will never forget our date over Chinese food, which I had never even had. I also won't forget ordering something that I had no idea what it even was and then proceeding to act like I liked it as I ate. Despite the food, we laughed, we talked, we laughed some more and another date was already set. I could not believe I was starting to date so soon and certainly was planning on anything but that.
One date after another we finally went on the most fabulous date of them all. He asked if he could take Alicia and I to see Beauty and the Beast. Let me remind you, this is a 22 year old guy asking a soon to be divorcee on a date with her daughter (Cue Chris is amazing comments again). When he showed up to pick us up he brought Alicia a gift and she instantly took a liking to him. In fact, we could barely even watch the movie because of Alicia's talking (If you know Alicia, at least just act surprised). All the way through the movie she kept handing him her book asking him to read it to her. She was smitten, I was smitten and I could tell he was too.
So, there you have it, he didn't run away afterall, even when I tried to chase him away. For the first time ever, someone seemed to value me. And what I would soon learn was that it was going to be those beautiful eyes of his that I, for the first time ever, would begin to see myself.
My load was beginning to lighten, at least for the moment. My soon to be ex-husband was in jail and there was no more looking over my shoulder. I was beginning to do things on my own, still lost and empty as could be but yet still moving forward. Day by day I went to work, took care of Alicia and put one foot in front of the other. Slowly wrapping my mind around this new life being carved out for me...which by the way turned out to be nothing like I was expecting!
I decided to go out for some fun one night with a friend. Being 21 and with new found freedom, my friend and I went out to Bleachers, a sports and karaoke bar. For all those concerned, no, I was not going to be singing! We went out with no intentions other than a having a fun girls night...however, once again, this went nothing like I expected. The minute I walked in the door I laid eyes on the cutest man I had ever seen. I was very surprised by my reaction, trust me, the last thing on my mind was a man! However, this man had truly captured my attention. Strong, brown hair, amazing green/blue eyes and then to top it off he walks up to the mic and begins to sing. Not your drunken, country, bad karaoke kind of singing but instead he belts out Billy Joel's Honesty with this amazing voice. Ok girls, now I knew I was in trouble. It was way too soon to be interested in another man. This was the last thing I needed..right?
This incredibly cute guy proceeded to walk over to my table, sit down and begins to watch the basketball game... and get this... he started eating my fries! Within minutes he had me laughing and the chemistry between us was instant. This man had such a sweet charm, a gentleness and quiet strength about him. He was not being savvy or cheesy, he was just being who he was. He was cute, hysterical and talented. Again, I knew I was in trouble. I did not want another relationship!!
After laughing most of the night and enjoying one anothers' company, out of nowhere I suddenly went into self protection mode. I began to share with him my own rendition of honesty...which went something like this..."I'm in the middle of a divorce from an abusive man and I have a 1 year old daughter who means the world to me"! Bleh...there it was, the line that would for sure make him disappear. A 21 year old divorcee with a kid...every 22 year old guys dream, huh? The threat of another relationship that was sure to lead to pain and heartache was over. Operation Relationship Sabotage was successfully accomplished!
Or so I thought...
